In a still moment, on the second floor of this building, I look out the window to the world around me. Life is happening.
I feel a very tangible presence of God. It's a gloriously heavy, tipsy feeling that hugs my body and my heart. It makes me smile.
I am reminded of God's desire and love for me. Always for me. Always kind. Always loving. It is the love that my heart has been longing for.
I am totally smitten with the creator of the universe. Not because I can bring much to the relationship, but because He loves me so perfectly. I can put the world on hold and it feels like it is only me and Him.
The weight of the rock
But amongst this beauty I am sensing a heaviness within me―it is the weight of judgement rocks. The rocks we throw every day at others. Our perception. Our opinion. Our judgement. With the recent responses to the Orlando massacre, the debate on transgender bathroom use and the quick responses and judgements we make against people - it makes my heart sink at times, as I process the pain this must be causing.
You've probably shared in these times. They are the little (or big), private (or very public) comments that you feel rising up within you. You feel you are in the best position to be making these calls and for some reason permitted to have these moments of 'truth' and are called to speak it out.
You collect up a rock off the ground …
'There was a woman raped on the street. She was probably wearing a short
skirt ...' (rock thrown)
'There's been a terrible accident on the highway―the car was being driven by a
teen. He was probably drunk ... and speeding'. (rock thrown)
'The Mum with the gay son? She's probably done something sinful to cause
that'. (rock thrown)
'The 19 year old woman, pregnant with no husband. What a tart. She's probably
just doing it for Centrelink benefits'. (rock thrown)
Is there a possibility I could be wrong?
Perhaps we should stop for a moment and think. 'Maybe I'm wrong?' or 'What if this hurts the other person?'
Every day we are given the opportunity to let go of our rocks of judgement and condemnation and walk in love and grace. Showing, and operating in grace is a choice. A choice to show others Jesus' love. A choice to not bomb them with a rock. A decision to drop the rock.
Thrown rocks do nothing - except hit a person.
A person possibly already in enough pain. And if they aren't in pain? Your rock is sure going to change that.
When there is a curved ball in your world
What do you do when;
…You meet an asylum seeker in a detention centre with a horror story
of war and fear?
...Two of your four children tell you they're gay?
...Your sister reveals details of her painful and distressing abortion?
...Your best friend confides in you about their affair?
...Your relative tells you they identify as transgender?
A real testimony
I have a relative that is transgender and this is his mini-testimony:
"I am broken. I have nothing to bring. I stand out condemned by the righteous and forsaken ... but not by God. My true self is being expressed in the glowing freedom of God's grace, compassion and love. No more shame, no more condemnation and a deeper awareness of His presence even through the difficulties of my transitioning experiences."
Drop the rocks
As we partake of this beautiful opportunity to let our rocks fall to the ground, we are suddenly gifted with wonderful friendships and lines of communication with people that previously would have been cut off (whether we have said it out loud or thought it in our hearts) due to rock throwing sessions. Dropping our rocks changes our heart, attitude, perspective and purpose.
Look out into the stillness, or into the busyness of life and be aware of His presence. His love will permeate your inmost being so tangibly, if you open yourself to it.
You won't be able to do anything, but ... drop the rock.
Belinda has always enjoyed expressing herself. Her mediums have included dance, painting, writing, text messages and performing for local theatre companies. In 2010 she was invited to write comment articles for Press Service International which culminated in her winning the 'Basil Seller's Australian Young Writer of the Year' in 2015. Her writing is now published at cinemafaith.com and periecho.com. Belinda lives on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia.
See previous articles by Belinda Croft