Hey universe. It's been awhile. I used to call you Jesus - but that name carries many scars for me now.
I think you would get it. I never thought we'd end up here. I really don't know much anymore. It all is grey to me. One day the boundaries shifted and the toothpaste won't go back into the tube no matter how hard I try.
Did we break up, Jesus? Or are we just on a break? Or is this what following you looks like - the path less travelled, walking away from religion and church?
I don't have any answers. I have so many questions.
Do you think we could just sit and I could tell you my story? Sit and pour me another glass of wine. Laugh at my jokes and cry the tears I can't manage to cry. Tell me some wisdom. Give me some hope.
I'm sorry it went this way. It's not you. It's them. And it's me.
I don't feel lost. Maybe I am almost found. Maybe I am arriving.
Emily is a renowned community connector, advocate for women, Asset Based Community Development advocate and leader in her local community, recognised for her work as the Local Woman of the Year in New South Wales in 2016. She has delivered training and workshops all around Australia, empowering communities to address gender based violence and discover the inherent dignity and worth in everyone. See all previous articles and poems by Emily Messieh